Introducing The F1 Class of 2015: Game Of Thrones-style.

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After I started watching the HBO Masterpiece Game of Thrones, I now categorize people into two sections:

1. People who love Game of Thrones and; 2. People who have no idea yet how much they’re going to love Game of Thrones.

The show, adapted from George R.R. Martin’s series of books titled A Song Of Ice And Fire, contains drama, sex, wars, power plays, politicking, violence, and hedonism, among others. What’s not to love? Also, doesn’t it sound a lot like the world of Formula One that we love (and hate)?

And so this season, I have decided to imagine F1 in terms of the GoT World. Shall we get to know the main characters who shall contest the Iron Throne…er, the 2015 WDC?

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LH

House Hamilton

Led by: Lord Lewis Hamilton

Liege to the Realm of Mercedes

House words:

“Only God Can Judge Me.”

He is the current ruler who the rest will do their best to dethrone. His swagger is immeasurable. His temper flares, unpredictable. And he’s too #Blessed to care what other people think of him. Stay pressed.

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NR

House Rosberg

Led by: Lord Nico Rosberg

Liege to the Realm of Mercedes

House words:

“The Pretty Remembers.”

Beneath that blonde gleam is steel. Valyrian steel. Don’t provoke him and make him channel his inner Lannister, this heir to the 1986 F1 WDC is both beauty and brains and he knows how to play this game pretty damn well.

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DR

House Ricciardo

Led by: Lord Daniel Ricciardo

Liege to the Realm of Red Bull Racing

House words:

“We Do Not Frown.”

This Aussie’s biggest, and possibly most baffling weapon in his armory, is none other than his ability to maintain a smile upon his face. Do not be fooled by it and be lulled into thinking he is a racing pushover, for you just might wake up his alter ego, the honey badger.

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DK

House Kvyat

Led by: Lord Daniil Kvyat

Liege to the Realm of Red Bull Racing

House words:

“A Russian Always Pays His Debts.”

He may be young, but you would not want to mess with this one. His teenage looks belie the ice (vodka?) in his veins, and while it is easy to dismiss him as one of those entitled, backed-by-wealth racers, he has already shown flashes of brilliance that neither money, nor political influence, can acquire.

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SV

House Vettel

Led by: Lord Sebastian Vettel

Liege to the Realm of Ferrari

House words:

“The Finger Is Coming.”

Having been dethroned after ruling this racing kingdom for four straight years, Sebastian has switched allegiances and is now ready to take back what was once his. Can he channel his inner Targaryen and restore House Vettel’s prestige? Watch out for the Finger, it may have been down, but it’s certainly not out.

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KR

House Raikkonen

Led by: Lord Kimi Raikkonen

Liege to the Realm of Ferrari

House words:

“Racing. Fishing. Screwing.”

Way before his now infamous quote, “Leave me alone, I know what I’m doing.” the verbose (not) Finn has already made it known what his life priorities are (actually, that’s what he said Finns pretty much do). And who can blame him? Sounds like a life truly worth living. Carry on being you, Kimi.

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FA

House Alonso

Led by: Lord Fernando Alonso

Liege to the Realm of McLaren-Honda

House words:

“Scheming Strong.”

There is no one more savvy on the grid when it comes to politics and psych wars than our beloved Fernando. He makes hardcore politicians and champion chess players look like amateurs compared to his tireless tactics. Could he be F1’s very own Peter Baelish, aka Littlefinger? Think you can stay one step ahead of him? He’s already plotting your downfall as you read this. So good luck. And better leave him space.

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JB

House Button

Led by: Lord Jenson Button

Liege to the Realm of McLaren-Honda

House words:

“Get A Grip.”

Our Jenson is like a Tyrell—rich (in racing talent), popular and attractive but seemingly lacking in ruthlessness that is necessary to claim the throne in not-so-perfect conditions (i.e, not having the ideal/dominant car). His time may be running out soon so he’ll want to up the ante, lessen the groans and grind it out each race. And with a teammate like Fernando, it’s more than necessary for him to watch his back!

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Williams F1 Driver Studio Images. January 2015. Felipe Massa. Photo: Williams F1 (Copyright Free FOR EDITORIAL USE ONLY) ref: Digital Image WILLIAMS JAN1240 Edit House Massa

Led by: Lord Felipe Massa

Liege to the Realm of Williams Racing

House words:

“Uncrowned. Unbent. Unbroken. For Sure.”

He was World Champion for a few precious seconds in 2008, until…he wasn’t. Still, despite a change in teams, this peppy Brazilian has not given up on that crown and is still actively contributing to the number of “For sures” in every article/press release.

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VB

House Bottas

Led by: Lord Valtteri Bottas

Liege to the Realm of Williams Racing

House words:

“See Me Soar.”

Because he is the new Flying Finn. Get it?! Besides, we should know by now that Finns would rather show than tell.

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NH

House Hulkenberg

Led by: Lord Nico Hulkenberg

Liege to the Realm of Sahara Force India

House words:

“As Tall As Talent.”

He stands out in the paddock for more than just his height, and yet he is still waiting for that Eureka Moment (i.e, a top team to sign him up) to arrive. Nico is like a Lord in the Vale: Well-regarded, yet often overlooked and vastly underestimated.

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SP

House Perez

Led by: Lord Sergio Perez

Liege to the Realm of Sahara Force India

House words:

“I Don’t Know Nothing.”

People are quick to criticize Sergio when he makes on-track mistakes, but they forget that he was a podium finisher twice in his young F1 career now and has proven he can dice with the best of them.

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MV

House Verstappen

Led by: Lord Max Verstappen

Liege to the Realm of Scuderia Toro Rosso

House words:

“The Seed Is Strong.”

Father Jos may not have set the world of F1 alight, but the son has already set the record for being the youngest-ever F1 driver in history at the age of 17. Max has been touted by pundits and insiders alike to be the 2015 Rookie to watch out for. Premature hype? Watch Lord Max prove his critics wrong.

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CS

House Sainz

Led by: Lord Carlos Sainz Jr.

Liege to the Realm of Scuderia Toro Rosso

House words:

“Fire In (Spanish) Blood.”

He is not the offspring of the Carlos Sainz for nothing. And he has already shown that he is not scared of going wheel-to-wheel with veterans and newbies alike. Could this hombre be out to dethrone Fernando Alonso as the Great Spanish Hope? I smell a n F1 Kingslayer in training…

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PM

House Maldonado

Led by: Lord Pastor Maldonado

Liege to the Realm of Lotus

House words:

“Ours Is The Notoriety.”

You know you’ve made it into F1 Infamy when you have your very own website dedicated to your on-track snafus: http://www.haspastormaldonadocrashedtoday.com

Nevertheless, let us not forget that this is the last driver to have won a race that is not from Red Bull, Ferrari, Mercedes or McLaren. There is clearly talent there, but hey, good on Pastor for owning his notoriety so well that it’s only a matter of time before critics can’t use it against him anymore.

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RG

House Grosjean

Led by: Lord Romain Grosjean

Liege to the Realm of Lotus

House words:

“Mistakes Are Wind.”

Who are you calling “1st Lap Nutcase”? Romain has surprisingly shed this infamous nickname this past couple of seasons and has emerged a calmer, more…subdued racer. But to be honest, more than a few fans are missing the ballsy Romain of old. Lets’ hope he finds that precocious balance between calm and ballsy this year and regains a valuable place in the pecking order.

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ME

House Ericsson

Led by: Lord Marcus Ericsson

Liege to the Realm of Sauber

House words:

“Stealth Is Wealth.”

Hands up if you still remember what Ericsson achieved last season and what team he drove for. Anyone? Well, what is important is that he is still on the grid, waiting for that one chance where he can do something spectacular that will make the racing world remember his name once again.

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FN

House Nasr

Led by: Lord Felipe Nasr

Liege to the Realm of Sauber

House words:

“It Is Known (I Am My Own Felipe).”

It is not easy to enter F1 when the name Felipe is automatically connected to Massa, but this seasoned young racer is already debunking the “there can only be one” memes out there with his early results. Can he sustain this good fortune and win the Battle of Felipes this season? Stay tuned.

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WS

 

House Stevens

Led by: Lord Will Stevens

Liege to the Realm of Manor GP

House words:

“Now My Race Has Begun.”

After a lot of…roadblocks and difficulties, Stevens has finally made his proper F1 debut, and already had a race finish under his belt! Now the question is, until when can he extend his stay and can he do the impossible and fill the boots of Jules Bianchi?

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RM

House Merhi

Led by: Lord Roberto Merhi

Liege to the Realm of Manor GP

House words:

“A Start Is A Start.”

His future in F1 is as unknown as Jon Snow’s parentage, but perhaps Merhi can take comfort in the adage, “Enjoy the present, for it is a gift.” Take it one race at a time, and let’s see where that leads…

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Which House will win the F1 Game Of Thrones 2015?

All I know is that: All Men Must…Race.

 

 

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Karaokers Time: Blank Space- Ferrari + Sebastian Vettel’s New Theme.

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Stop the presses. I can exclusively reveal that the new Ferrari SF15-T has a very special welcoming gift for its new driver, otherwise known as 4x-World Champion and ex-Red Bull guy Sebastian Vettel: A song! Not just any other song, but a song that might just perfectly encapsulate their new journey together.

Feel free to sing along. I know you want to.

Blank Space: The Ferrari Version.

Nice to meet you, where you been?

I could show you incredible things

Podiums, trophies, champagne, wins

Saw you there and I thought

“Oh my God, look at him race”

You look like my next mistake

F1’s a game, wanna play?

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New challenge, German guy

I can read you like telemetry

Ain’t it funny, rumours fly

And I know you dreamed about me

So hey, let’s be friends

I’m dying to see how this one ends

Grab your licence, and Kimi’s hand

I can make the good guys bad for a weekend

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So it’s gonna be forever

Or it’s gonna go down in flames

You can tell me when it’s over

If the high was worth the pain

Got a long list of ex-lovers

They’ll tell you I’m insane

Cos you know I love true racers

And you love to race

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Cos you’re young and I’m reckless

We’ll take this way too far

It’ll leave you breathless

Or with a broken car

Got a long list of ex-lovers

They’ll tell you I’m insane

But I’ve got a blank space, baby

And I’ll write your name

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Scarlet flags, crystal skies

I could show you incredible things

Stolen data, pretty lies

You’re the king baby I’m your queen

Find out what you want

Be that car for a month

Wait the worst is yet to come

Oh no

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Crashes, DQs, perfect storm

I can make all the tables turn

Quali sessions filled with thorns

Keep you second guessing like.

“Oh my God, I need Q3!”

You’ll get drunk on jealousy

But you’ll come back each time you leave

Cos darling I’m a nightmare dressed like a daydream

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So it’s gonna be forever

Or it’s gonna go down in flames

You can tell me when it’s over

If the high was worth the pain

Got a long list of ex-lovers

They’ll tell you I’m insane

Cos you know I love true racers

And you love to race

.

Cos you’re young and I’m reckless

We’ll take this way too far

It’ll leave you breathless

Or with a broken car

Got a long list of ex-lovers

They’ll tell you I’m insane

But I’ve got a blank space, baby

And I’ll write your name

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Tifosi only want love if it’s torture

Don’t say I didn’t say I didn’t warn you

Tifosi only want love if it’s torture

Don’t say I didn’t say I didn’t warn you

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So it’s gonna be forever

Or it’s gonna go down in flames

You can tell me when it’s over

If the high was worth the pain

Got a long list of ex-lovers

They’ll tell you I’m insane

Cos you know I love true racers

And you love to race

.

Cos you’re young and I’m reckless

We’ll take this way too far

It’ll leave you breathless

Or with a broken car

Got a long list of ex-lovers

They’ll tell you I’m insane

But I’ve got a blank space, baby

And I’ll write your name

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SVheart

So which is it going to be, Seb—Forever or Flames?

Stay tuned.

 

The Bouncebackable Guide: How to Survive the F1 Winter Break.

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Hf1w

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A new Champion has been crowned, the champagne/rose water has been drunk (and copiously sprayed), the cars have been packed up and the proverbial curtains to the show (or is it circus?) have been closed. 

What now? The (dreaded) Winter Break, that is. *Cue collective gasp* Fear not, just like the previous post The Bouncebackable Guide: How to Survive The F1 Summer Break, I got your back and provided an assortment of distractions to help you through the months of waiting:

Missed a crucial/relevant/controversial/hilarious moment on and off the track? Trawl this blog’s huge selection of F1-related videos HERE and happily lose precious hours of your life.

Embrace your inner F1 Geek and get lost in the ocean of stats and trivia (and some noteworthy articles) by the ever-reliable F1 Statman.

Go a step further and embrace your inner Motorsport Geek and browse the super extensive Driver Database website.

Interested in the technology side of F1 and motorsport? Check out the techie wonderland that is Scarbs F1

Do you want to score an actual job for an F1 team but have no idea how to do it and where to start? Head over to Job in F1  and start plotting your way to the top. Good luck!  

Appreciate F1 and Motorsport in a new way by browsing the works of these massively-talented artists:

*Motorsport art & drawings

http://ecapener.wordpress.com

http://twitter.com/ecapener

*Lisa Statham Illustration

http://lisastathamillustration.bigcartel.com

*Dot art by Nikki Douthwaite

http://nikkidouthwaite.co.uk

https://twitter.com/nikkidouthwaite

*Simon Ward motorsport paintings

http://www.classicformulaone.co.uk/

http://twitter.com/simonward46

 *Jake Davis Illustration

http://jakedaviscreative.com/#/speedyhedz-motorsport/

http://twitter.com/JakeDDCreative

Fancy yourself to be some kind of F1 Genius? Then try your luck at answering “The World’s Hardest F1 Quiz” HERE.

Could you be an F1/McLaren driver in a past life? Take the “Which F1 Driver Are You?” quiz by McLaren HERE.

Prove your F1 Mad Skillz by taking on the Tag Heuer Steering Wheel Challenge HERE.

Fall down the Blackhole of F1 Fandom and search F1 (or the names of your F1 favourite teams and drivers) on http://www.tumblr.com

I promise you, you’ll spend hours and hours and hours browsing and marveling at what the internet can produce. (Hint: f1-gifs.tumblr.com is a good place to start.)

Do you get (irrationally) annoyed when some people jump on the F1 bandwagon but clearly have no idea about the sport? Watch this funny video by Twitter user  on how wrong David Guetta’s F1-themed music video “Dangerous” is.

Still haven’t done your Christmas shopping yet? Then browse this extensive list of gift suggestions for your motorsport loving friends and family members from F1 Fanatic —hey, feel free to buy a thing (or two) for yourself as well!

Wanting, wishing and dreaming of going to your first GP but you have no idea where to start? Check out F1 Destinations and take the first step to getting to the GP you want!

Still aching to watch some similar form of motorsport during the weekends? Try Formula E , the newest electrifying series by the FIA (see what I did there). Hey, there’s loads of ex-F1 drivers in there so at least there will be familiar faces!

From the wow, weird, wacky, wonderful, to simply WTF, this site (nearly) has it all. Head on over to WTF1 and immerse yourself in the crazy world of F1 (& other motorsport)!
Are you hopelessly addicted to Twitter and are in-the-know when it comes to chuckle-/LOL-inducing F1 gifs and photos? Check out the Twitter account F1 Reactions (@f1_reactions) and get contributing! 

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There you have it. The aforementioned, along with the holiday season, should tide you over until at least the Winter Testing starts, yes? And if not, well then use the comments box below to suggest more ways of surviving the break!

Limerick no.13: The “Spoiled” vs The “Brat”.

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There once were teammates called ROS and HAM

In Spa, got entangled in an on-track jam.

Lew called foul, said Nico’s move was deliberate,

Fandemonium followed, as the mob took the bait.

Mercedes fumbled and struggled with this comical sham.

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Introducing the F1 Class of 2014: Through Twitter-Style Poems*.

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(*Expressed in exactly 140 Characters.)

A new F1 season is upon us yet again, and it is time to get to know the new and not-so-new 22 fellas who shall amaze, inspire, irk, annoy, baffle, confound and emotionally-torture us for one whole year through an exercise of brevity otherwise known as the medium of Twitter-style Poetry:

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vettel

Sebastian Vettel

 Seb is a champ, that much is known

He may be flawed, & he damn can own

His job: to race, to fight, to win

Being talented isn’t a sin.

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ricciardo

Daniel Ricciardo

 RBR’s new guy is called Dan

To the Aussies, he’s the man

His smile can be seen from outer space

But he’s serious as heck in a race

Multi 31?

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hamilton

Lewis Hamilton

 He does all he can

Just let him drive, man

Don’tcha wish your driver’s H.A.M like him?

Who chases a win even if chances are slim?

Peace out.

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rosberg

Nico Rosberg

 The dilemma of Nico

Is to downplay looks that makes fans go loco

From the track to the pitwall

He’s the fairest of them all

Mind the talent!

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raikkonen

Kimi Raikkonen

 They call him Kimster

Poker-faced Finnish gangster

Cold as fire, hot as ice

Mind his mumblings, they’re quite wise

He knows what he’s doing.

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alonso

Fernando Alonso

 The Samurai of Formula 1

His brand of tactics? 2nd to none

You must always give him space

Or get a taste of his gameface

Psych wars, ahead!

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button

Jenson Button

 This lad’s quite spiffy in the wet

And he’s the Brits’ 2nd bet

On track he employs stealth

Off track he values health

Give him proper grip!

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magnussen

Kevin Magnussen

 This McLaren rookie named Kevin

May be young, but he ain’t messin’

First race, p2, this Dane is great

Will a WDC be in his fate?

Stay tuned.

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grosjean

Romain Grosjean

 1st lap nutcase, Smiley Giraffe

That once made plenty on-track gaffe

He was mellowed by his son

& now he is Lotus’ de facto no.1

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maldonado

Pastor Maldonado

 He may have a reputation

That he brings on-track aggravation

So now this Venezuelan laddie

Has become F1’s fave baddie

What will he do next?

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hulkenberg

Nico Hulkenberg

 Talent & potential? He sure has them

Eye of the Tiger should be his anthem

Hulk is his nickname

Intense racing is his game

Elephant Balls.

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perez

Sergio Perez

 He was on a high then on a low

A bad year doesn’t mean this lad’s slow

New team & new chance for Checo

His partner? Superfast Nico

Game on.

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vergne

Jean-Eric Vergne

 He missed out on an RBR drive

But with STR he’ll continue to strive

Step up JEV & prove your worth

You just might have a racing rebirth

Go!

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kvyat

Daniil Kvyat

 Daniil may look wet between the ears

But he races with no fears

He deftly stole Vettel’s record

Without causing any discord

Doubt-dispeller.

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massa

Felipe Massa

 For years he was Smedley’s guy

A bromance/partnership money can’t buy

New team, new start & new hope

Let’s see if Felipe can cope

Stay cool.

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bottas

Valtteri Bottas

 Cool when needed, nerves of steel

This Finn’s steady behind the wheel

A hashtag? He is so much more

Ready to show what he has in store

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sutil

Adrian Sutil

He’s the odd German out

Who doesn’t hold much clout

The other 3 are going rampant

He doesn’t need to go stagnant

Find the fight, Adrian!

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gutierrez

Esteban Gutierrez

 He can rival Nando’s eyebrows

Had mild highs & rather bum lows

Sophomore year for young Esteban

Can he become Sauber’s main man?

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kobayashi

Kamui Kobayashi

 Now the Banzai Power is back

Expect to see an all-out attack

Kamui’s sweet but he’s also spicy

His on-track tactics? Borderline dicey

Push!

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ericsson

Marcus Ericsson

 He’s the new Swede on the block

Eager to show he’s fast on the clock

He gets to race a car so green

Can he get points, is he that keen?

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bianchi

Jules Bianchi

 The 3rd Frenchman of the lot

He hasn’t yet shown all that he’s got

Push on, Jules & just drive

You can keep your points dream alive

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chilton

Max Chilton

 This lad Max is a noob no more

Time to show us what he’s got in store

Yes he can finish every race

But a point sure would be ace

Step it up!

P.S. If you want legit profiles, Google is your friend.