ICYMI: The F1 #AustrianGP Edition Roundup.

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The Roundup returns after a one-race break! The Austrian hills may not have come alive with the sound of (engine) music, but the Dutch contingent made sure to paint the town orange that weekend…

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A third DRS Zone was added in a bid to help overtaking:

Test yourself with this Austrian GP quiz:

Nico Hulkenberg looks really good in a…dress?

All four F1 rookies have previously raced on this track. Which one will impress the most?

Looks like the Mercedes lineup will be unchanged for 2019…

In things you never thought you’d read again: Kimi Raikkonen back to…McLaren?!

He doesn’t want to talk about it, though…

Updated PU Elements used by drivers pre-Austrian GP:

Pierre Gasly drove a badass KTM X-Bow around the Ring in an exhibition run:

Can Daniel Ricciardo notch a (positive) record on his birthday?

Max Verstappen has a special helmet for the weekend:

FP1: Sebastian Vettel & Stoffel Vandoorne almost collided in the pitlane. Yikes.

F1 teams want even less testing for next year…

McLaren then got fined for Vandoorne’s FP1 unsafe release:

That’s a lot of Freddos.

FP2: Pierre Gasly broke his suspension after riding a kerb, causing a Red Flag.

Spotted: Bernie Ecclestone in the paddock!

Perhaps he was waiting for his backgammon buddy, Seb Vettel?

Haas were also investigated for Kevin Magnussen’s unsafe release:

In really weird things to do at the Paddock:

Udderly ridiculous.

Meanwhile, The “Charles Leclerc to Ferrari 2019” talks have gone into overdrive:

FP3: It’s now Brendon Hartley who gets caught out by the kerb

Max’s car wasn’t very cooperative:

The Universal Fave Charles Leclerc, got a 5-place grid penalty for an unauthorized gearbox change

Quali: Vettel was put under investigation after seemingly blocking Carlos Sainz on a hot lap:

Drama at Red Bull, when Max was ordered to overtake Dan to give him a tow, but refused:

Meanwhile, the McLaren pitbox line has been…angled?

Ron Dennis just shuddered at the sight of that photo.

Valtteri Bottas coolly took pole, & then celebrated with…ice cream.

Magnum and Finns: A Winning Combination.

Vettel took a 3-place grid penalty for the incident vs Sainz. Opinion among fans and experts were divided. Were the stewards robbing the fans of a fair title fight?

Raceday:

Toro Rosso had to fit a new PU on Hartley’s car, demoting him to P20 on the grid:

The Red Bull drivers don their usual lederhosens for their home race:

#Fashion.

Fernando Alonso started from the pitlane after a late front wing change:

Ex-F1 driver Ant Davidson explains the buttons on the Mercedes steering wheel:

That three-way fight at the opening lap got fans yelling. Just look at that balls-to-the-wall racing!

Nico Hulkenberg was surprisingly the first to retire, though through no fault of his own:

From poleman to nowhereman. Bottas was forced to retire after a hydraulic failure:

Misfortune also struck the birthday boy, as Ricciardo retired due to a gearbox issue:

An odd stat for birthday boys in F1:

He got a pretty snazzy birthday cake from Red Bull, if it’s any consolation:

The Move of the Day: Sebastian Vettel’s thrilling overtake on championship rival Lewis Hamilton:

Seven laps from the end, Hamilton was also forced to retire. Shocker!

The stats on Mercedes retirements:

Max Verstappen and his lion helmet roared to a win, and recreated the same podium as his 1st win in Spain:

More Max stats:

He was voted DoTD:

Safe to say the Dutch fans who turned out in droves to support Max were pleased.

Kimi Raikkonen took a solid P2, and snatched the Fastest Lap, his 1st of the 2018 season:

The Sauber boys had a good race, too. Yes, not just Leclerc, Ericsson joined in on the party as well!

Haas finally got a break, and took their best finish so far this year:

Let’s not forget Fernando Alonso’s mega pitlane to P8 drive:

Just waiting for his quote saying it’s his best career drive…

Carlos Sainz got a reprimand post-race for the incident with Esteban Ocon:

Lance Stroll and Sergio Perez got investigated for an incident involving blue flags:

Stroll got a 10 second penalty and 3 penalty points:

Fans weren’t such…fans of the virtual advertising:

There seems to be a developing bromance between Sebastian Vettel and Max Verstappen:

#Sax? #Vetstappen?

The new Driver standings:

And the Constructor’s:

A new record for F1:

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How close is this Championship turning out to be?

They go again in a few days’ time, when F1 is “coming home”. Silverstone, you have a lot to live up to!

ICYMI: The F1 #CanadianGP Edition Roundup.

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Loads of F1 fans made it perfectly clear they found the Monaco GP insufferably boring. Surely Montreal won’t disappoint? Well…

10 years after his first and only win in F1, Robert Kubica talked about that accident in Montreal, missing his trophy, wanting to buy the race-winning car, and more:

Some Canadian GP Fast Facts for the geeks:

Toro Rosso continue their legacy of fickleness with drivers, as they allegedly look to replace Brendon Hartley midseason:

Ferrari posted a pre-GP video on Twitter, and CBC Montreal called them out for not doing proper geographical research:

This weekend marked Fernando Alonso’s 300th grid appearance:

One of the many reasons fans love this GP:

Wanna see hometown driver Lance Stroll make poutine?

More changes being considered for F1… *cue loud groaning from fans*

Meet the official mascot of the Canadian GP: VROUM!

Drivers now have to give even more prerace interviews. I’m sure Kimi Raikkonen is thrilled to hear this.

Max Verstappen? He ain’t changing anything, so save your shade!

Also. He kinda wants to channel his inner Zidane…?

Contrary to earlier reports, Daniel Ricciardo didn’t take an engine penalty for the weekend:

Who would the Renault drivers invite to their dream dinner party?

FAO Danill Kvyat fans! Here’s your man clad in Ferrari gear, making his first appearance at a GP this year:

Fellow ex-F1 driver Pascal Wehrlein also visited the GP to lend support to the Mercedes garage:

Drivers who are on the verge of grid penalties: *dun dun dunnnnn*

FP2: Ricciardo’s car got taken apart by his team, sending his fans worrying:

Carlos Sainz Jr hit a wall and caused a Red Flag:

Stoffel Vandoorne also touched the wall and caused a Yellow Flag:

Ricciardo made it to the track though with 20 minutes to go. Talk about a close call!

Hang on. Did Romain Grosjean really hit a groundhog?

He did. The aftermath:

Romain had to go apologize to Vroum!

Thankfully, Vroum forgave him.

Brendon Hartley got fined for speeding in the pitlane:

Fernando Alonso is his own hype man:

Plenty of Austin Powers memes were used on social media when Stoffel Vandoorne couldn’t quite get his McLaren out of the escape road in FP3:

Did Sebastian Vettel really nick his ex-boss’ phone?! Sneaky Seb!

Qualifying: Nico Rosberg demonstrated to Ted Kravitz one of the many pressures/forces the bodies of racing drivers have to endure:

Romain Grosjean had a problem even before he left the pitlane, and look who was behind him…

Marcus Ericsson joined the party and made contact with the wall:

Meanwhile, his teammate Charles Leclerc tied yet another Sauber record by making it into Q2 for the 4th time:

He didn’t look to be a strong contender during the practices, but Sebastian Vettel stormed to pole, and registered the first Ferrari pole in Montreal since Michael Schumacher’s back in 2001!

Max Verstappen took P3, and could not resist giving his boss some sass on team radio:

Qualifying in 60 seconds:

Vettel gets his 4th Pirelli pole tire. He can now kit a go-kart with them!

Sky’s Crofty attempted to do The Floss, which really put off Alonso doing the same:

Leave the dancing to the kids!

F1 Teams (all barring Ferrari) gathered round for the much-anticipated annual raft race. Williams took a surprise victory!

Relive the raft race here:

Raceday: 1997 World Champion Jacques Villeneuve drove his father’s Ferrari, and what a sentimental moment that was:

The opening lap brought a rather scary crash that took out Brendon Hartley and Lance Stroll:

Carlos Sainz and Sergio Perez subsequently had a tussle, which sent Perez asking for Sainz to be black-flagged:

Nope, the tussle wasn’t anywhere near worthy of a black flag.

Not sure how many mirrors Alonso has broken recently, but his car continued to be uncooperative, and his 300th race ended in retirement.

Nico Rosberg wasn’t happy with the lack of on-track action, and so he decided to hold an #AskNico session on Twitter midrace and spilled some scorching hot tea, particularly on Fernando Alonso:

Savage. Check his Twitter account for his other hottakes.

Model Winnie Harlow became the subject of the race’s biggest talking point when she waved the checquered flag too soon:

Look at this close finish between P2 and P3. Had the checquered flag not been waved prematurely, we would have gotten a mega battle from Bottas and Verstappen!

Poleman Vettel did not put a foot wrong, and he got away with the most spoils this weekend:

Bottas and Verstappen both comfortably beat their teammates. Leclerc continued to impress by notching up a point and erasing his Monaco GP nightmare.

Race winner Vettel saw the funny side of the Checquered Flag-Gate:

Winnie Harlow explained her side, complete with the reference to the iconic Shaggy song!

Because of the snafu, Ricciardo’s Fastest Lap did not count and the official Fastest Lap went to his teammate Verstappen instead. Poor Dan!

Brendon Hartley was medically-cleared after his first lap shunt:

The Canadian GP in 60 seconds:

And the Tweet of the Race:

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We go into the “unknown” next: Can the Paul Ricard Circuit spring a surprise on us? For the meantime, go check out the numerous debates on the shortcomings of modern day F1 on social media. If for anything, you’ll get a laugh on how hilariously myopic and entitled some of the “fans” are. You’re welcome.

ICYMI: The F1 #SpanishGP Edition Roundup.

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The rain in Spain falls mainly on the…well, certainly not on track, or else we surely would have gotten a better race.

The race weekend wasn’t short on talking points though, thank goodness!

Eight days after the Azerbaijan GP, Williams lodged a complaint and asked the FIA to review the incident where Fernando Alonso nursed his McLaren back to the pits after a problem with his tires, among others:

The FIA rejected it, though:

Remember the Kangaroo TV/F1 Vision? It’s baaack!

French drivers Pierre Gasly and Esteban Ocon both attended the Cannes Film Festival, but their shadiness was revealed when it was found by fans that they cropped each other out of their Instagram pics:

Recap: Gasly revealed in an interview some weeks back that he and Ocon aren’t really friends anymore.

F1 officially launched its travelling Merchandise Superstore in Barcelona. Goodbye, money!

Before, it was Indy 500, but now the Le Mans 24hr race is now “the biggest race in the world” for Fernando Alonso…

And he likes the privacy of the F1 paddock compared to the WEC paddock:

I mean, 50 fans following you to the loo is kinda awkward…

McLaren unveiled their updates, including a new nose which polarized social media, to say the least:

Ferrari’s most obvious change/update was the halo-mounted mirrors:

The Red Bull drivers were helped by football legend and Catalan Andres Iniesta change tires in an event:

Iniesta politely turned down the chance to join the F1 grid next season, saying life on the fast lane is not for him.

Looks like we’ll have a second race in the USA from 2019. Bienvenido a Miami!

Daniel Ricciardo has commented on the rumor that F1 has trademarked the infamous “shoey”:

The most famous Pole in F1, the beloved Robert Kubica, had his first FP1 session since 2010:

Spainish GP? Is it because they’re in Catalan country…?

Track officials thankfully removed it after photos went viral.

Sauber driver Charles Leclerc joined Gasly and Hulkenberg in the Kevin Magnussen Non-Fan Club, after an incident with him in FP1:

Kevin Magnussen then received a reprimand for that daft move.

One of the more creative Kimi banners seen at a track. God Save the (Finnish) King!

Daniel Ricciardo had a strange F.E.A. message written on his helmet on the Friday:

Force India driver Sergio Perez had an incident on FP2 when his front left tire came loose after a pitstop and he had to park the car. The FIA fined his team for an unsafe release:

Guess who surfaced in the McLaren garage during FP3? None other than Martin Whitmarsh!

Remember last year’s famous crying kid? Thomas the adorable Kimi Raikkonen fan is back!

Here he is, reunited with Kimi:

Max Verstappen will earn a cool 150k for having an unapproved lookalike:

Other teams weren’t happy with Ferrari’s halo mirrors, so it has been banned from Monaco onwards.

We’ve seen it in Baku, and now Spain has also adopted the “pre podium interview”:

F1’s cameras found another tiny adorable fan, this time a Fernando Alonso superfan:

They tracked him down and got him to meet his Spanish hero! Joaquín, everyone!

Ex-Sauber/Ferrari/Williams driver Felipe Massa also attended the GP, and I think we can all agree that this photo of him with his ex-engineer and dear friend Rob Smedley is the heartwarming content we all need!

Raceday. That first lap crash that took Romain Grosjean, Nico Hulkenberg and Pierre Gasly out of the Spanish GP:

RoGro was handed a 3-place grid penalty and 2 license points for that incident:

The Mercedes drivers got the new tires to work perfectly for them, and they took their first 1-2 finish of the season:

Max Verstappen kept his head down, and despite damaging his front wing after colliding with a Williams car, managed to take his first podium finish this year.

Charles Leclerc finished in the points again, breaking a 3-year record for a Sauber driver:

The Spanish GP in 60 seconds:

And the GP summed up in one tweet:

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Hasta luego, España!

ICYMI: The F1 #BahrainGP Edition Roundup.

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That break between Australia and Bahrain felt like forever, didn’t it?

Thankfully, F1 is back, and is crammed with more talking points than ever:

Pierre Gasly spills the tea on why he and Esteban Ocon are not friends anymore:

Speaking of Esteban Ocon, a random Twitter discussion on his mysterious famous lookalike led to the discovery of his incredibly long full name:

Who knew he had a mouthful of a name? (Source: French Wikipedia)

Back to Gasly, apparently, his big masterplan to attract good racing results is to not shave until the end of the season:

Sebastian Vettel arrived at the circuit on Thursday carrying a mysterious briefcase, and nobody knows what that was about:

Update: Autobild has confirmed the briefcase contained his Backgammon board!

Looks like the grid girls may be back–for Monaco and maybe even Sochi.

*sighs and judges in multiple languages*

And it seems there’s another driver (aside from Nico Hulkenberg) who wants the grid girls back:

Have you ever wondered how the F1 2018 grid will look like as ONE driver? Of course you have. Wonder no more, thanks to Reddit:

During a lull in FP1, Kevin Magnussen provided further proof he’s kind of obsessed with Balls…

The F1 Teams met on Friday to decide on the new rules starting 2021. Below is an outline of what has been decided:

Nothing too exciting or groundbreaking. Yet.

Both Red Bulls retired within the first few laps of the GP: Verstappen limped back to the pits with a puncture after a 1st lap tussle with Hamilton, while Ricciardo ended up parking the car minutes after the green light due to loss of power. The double retirement effectively ended Red Bull’s 38-race point-scoring streak.

Kevin Magnussen’s language was as colorful as ever, complaining about his teammate cutting him off and holding him up during midrace. He managed to finish P5.

Kimi Raikkonen unfortunately hit a Ferrari mechanic on his pit stop, and was released without the Left Rear tire getting replaced.

The mechanic, Francesco Cigarini, sustained a shinbone and fibula fracture:

Update: Francesco’s surgery went well, and he is now recovering.

And for those who think Kimi’s a heartless bastard, he’s already left a comment on Francesco’s post!

Ferrari was fined €50,000 for Kimi’s unsafe release.

Marcus Ericsson of Sauber finally scored his first couple of F1 points after 50 races of trying! Now it’s up to Leclerc to step up.

Pierre Gasly took home his Toro Rosso in P4, 48 whole seconds ahead of Fernando Alonso’s McLaren, and expertly trolled him by quoting him at the end:

Aside from being voted by the fans as Driver of the Day, Gasly has also now joined an illustrious club:

Fernando Alonso will be comforted by the fact that he is currently sitting P4 at the WDC table, ahead of Ferrari’s Kimi Raikkonen!

Lewis Hamilton called Max Verstappen a “dickhead” while watching a replay of their tussle on the cool down room:

(Vettel’s reaction: Priceless!)

Of course he got asked about it in the post-race press conference, and Sebastian Vettel surprisingly defended his rival:

Even Mark Webber approves!

Sergio Perez and Brendon Hartley both got sanctioned for what seemed to be one of the most polite ontrack battles in recent years:

F1 is so flabbergastingly strange, sometimes!
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Well then, China should be fun!

ICYMI: The F1 #AusGP Edition Roundup.

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We’ve officially survived the season-opener!

While it’s easy to get lost in the hundreds of articles recounting the race and post-race events, I’ve decided to compile a list of raceday’s interesting and real talking points, you know, the stuff that truly matters most?

No need to thank me, I do this all for love.

Überraschungssieg means “surprise victory” in German. Which is a fitting description for Sebastian Vettel’s masterstroke. From P3 to P1 in a difficult-to-overtake-in track? Sorcery*! Now try to pronounce that German word quickly five times in a row. You’re welcome.

(*More like luck + a well-timed pitstop under the VSC.)

Speaking of Vettel, his “signature dance” from last year was notably absent from his post-race celebrations, but not to worry, The Finger made a very visible comeback.

Nico Rosberg officially began his punditry career in F1–with stints in both RTL and Sky Sports F1–and still managed to take the time to introduce himself to a young F1 fan who had no idea who he was:

The grid kids made their debut. Just look at them in their snazzy F1 race suits! Hopefully there will be more diversity in the coming races. And admit it, did you even notice the absence of the grid girls?

A sandwich bag may be at fault for Sergey Sirotkin’s retirement from his first F1 race. And no, I cannot confirm whether it was of Polish origin or not.

A faulty drink tube nearly made Carlos Sainz Jr. vomit inside his helmet during the race. The said faulty tube was forcing the poor guy to drink too much water, and coupled with the G-forces he was enduring, Sainz experienced nausea but thankfully overcame it in time. Todo bien.

Update: Sainz later claimed a “poisoned banana” was the cause of his problems during the race. Yes, you read that right.

Kimi Raikkonen thinks his P3 finish is “Ok”.

He also owned his brand by posting an Iceman pic on his IG story.

(You really should get Instagram by now–following Kimi is so worth it.)

Also, did Kimi’s wife just shade his team Ferrari in her own IG story…?

The new graphics were generally well-received, until the battle of Lastname vs Lastname appeared on the telly and made social media crazy. And yes, that became an actual trending topic. Lastname FTW!

Charles Leclerc’s debut was much-anticipated but surprisingly ignored by the race directors. As in he was never shown driving his Sauber during the race broadcast at all. Leclerc can take comfort in the fact he’s got the best pose in the new starting grid graphics, though. Can you say swag?

The Haas drivers were actually having a good race. As in P4 and P5 good. Until they didn’t, as a result of 2 botched pit stops. Romain Grosjean’s parenting skills took center stage as he took his time to comfort his colleagues, while Kevin Magnussen found a perfect book to console him.

Some people on Twitter actually believed that Haas sabotaged the races of both their drivers so Ferrari can win. Come on, guys. Seriously?!

Hometown fave Daniel Ricciardo overcame his grid penalty, made up 4 positions to finish P4 and took the 1st Fastest Lap Award. He had quite an exciting cat-and-mouse chase with Kimi Raikkonen and dropped another quotable line (Ricciardoism?) in, “I don’t wanna let him breathe”. Erm, if that is your kink Dan, we won’t judge.

Both McLaren cars finished the race. And in the points! Sadly, the Toro Rosso-Honda partnership got off on a rocky start, as Pierre Gasly had to retire due to a PU issue, and Brendon Hartley limped home bringing up the rear.

Red Bull Racing took the Fastest Pit Stop Award. Surprisingly, Mercedes only ranked 10th. A blip in the famous German Efficiency?

Someone not named Max Verstappen won Driver of the Day. Who could it be? It’s the Papaya King himself, Fernando Alonso!

Nico Hulkenberg still wants the grid girls back. And made a Tom & Jerry comparison to emphasize his point. Oh deer. Just let it go, Hulk. It ain’t worth it.

Nine out of the Top 20 Worldwide Trends on Twitter, within an hour of the race finish, were F1-related. And they say F1 Fans are losing interest?

Giant cardboard driver faces are a little bit terrifying, but also hilarious. Are those an in thing this season, now?

(P.S. Where do I get some?)

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Darn it, Bahrain is now going to feel like a lifetime away.

The Alternative Guide To The 2018 F1 Grid.

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The countdown is on. Within a few days, the F1 Circus will wreak havoc in our lives (and body clocks) yet again, and oh how we love it!

Let’s get to know the twenty drivers who will take part in this year’s championship, not by stats or scientifically-measured data (come on, surely you can easily Wikipedia them), but by the common perceptions (and misconceptions) they are known within social media*:

(*N.B. Remember to take these with a humorous grain of salt! )

Lewis Hamilton

#Blessed. Defending Champ. Menswear Ambassador of Tommy Hilfiger (i.e. He gets to rub elbows with Gigi Hadid). Resident Fashionista of F1. The British Racing Messiah. Will most likely dominate again if rivals don’t step up. Pawrent to dogs Roscoe and Coco. Shows off his abs on Instagram. Still not friends with Nico Rosberg.

Valtteri Bottas

The Other Finn. Cool as a cucumber but needs to rile Lewis up a bit. Famously and sensibly turned down a Ricciardo podium shoey. Owns a cat named Turbo. He likes Moomin, apparently? It’s been awhile since #BOTTAS took off–will we see the return of it this season?

Sebastian Vettel

The Finger. Does the Egyptian dance on the podium when he wins because of an inside joke with his kids. Demands blue flags over the radio. Names his cars after women. Ferrari AF. Yells “Grazie Ragazzi!” at the drop of a hat. Refuses to join social media. Lawnmowing gives him satisfaction. Mr. Honestly and Obviously.

Kimi Raikkonen

(Will) The Iceman (cometh?). Officially the oldest driver on the F1 grid. Still the last Ferrari Champion. Still the sentimental fave of many. Ex-Shampoo endorser. Most-followed Finnish racer on Instagram. Future owner of a karaoke bar. Sleep is Life. Sassy when he wants to be. Allergic to BS.

Daniel Ricciardo

The Honey Badger. Bearer of a smile that deserves a toothpaste endorsement. Currently in a limbo–this season will determine whether he stays with Red Bull or moves on to greener pastures. Occasionally does the infamous (and disgusting) shoey. Will sneakily nick your phone and take silly selfies. Friendly but ruthless. Game for practically anything.

Max Verstappen

The Great Dutch Hope. No titles in junior formulae or in F1 (yet), but already has grandstands named after him in various GPs. F1 Legacy Kid, but already surpassed the achievements of his opinionated (i.e. annoying) father. Likes to annoy the Ferrari drivers. Horner’s fave. Prince of Social Media Polls. Plays video games a lot.

Sergio Perez

Got caught with a facial expression that launched many memes. He used to be a McLaren driver. New dad. (Alleged) Tom Cruise doppelganger. His Mission (Impossible): To keep his highly-rated teammate behind him at all costs.

Esteban Ocon

Monsieur (O)Consistency. Has the longest name among the 2018 drivers: Try saying Esteban Jose Jean-Pierre Ocon-Khelfane 5 times in a row. Not afraid to rub his teammate the wrong way (on-track, at least). Tipped by many to get at least a podium finish this year. Likes to post gym photos and videos. Nice to fans. Eerily looks like someone famous–if you can figure out who, please let me know.

Nico Hulkenberg

The (Not Yet So) Incredible Hulk. Is this the year he finally gets a podium finish? Needs to deliver so he can shake off those unwanted F1 records. He won Le Mans, so there’s that. Occasionally puts foot in mouth with his statements on controversial issues. The Tall One. Impressive hair. Not a fan of Kevin Magnussen.

Carlos Sainz Jr.

Had Renault and Toro Rosso fighting over him. Can you blame them? Alonso fanboy. Possible heir to Alonso? He makes helmet hair look good. Lowkey fella. His (racing and hair) rivalry with Hulkenberg should be an interesting one. Not afraid to eat out alone. Dates himself because he’s worth it.

Romain Grosjean

Monsieur Snitch/Monsieur Savage–Depending on which driver he’s discussing with Charlie Whiting. Takes his GPDA role very seriously. Likes to cook in his spare time. Doesn’t crash during first laps anymore. Still has his sights set on a Ferrari drive.

Kevin Magnussen

Told Hulkenberg to suck his balls on live tv. Gives 0 f*cks about what other drivers think of him. Another F1 Legacy Kid. People forget he once got P2. New Dubai resident. Not a fan of oysters.

Fernando Alonso

The Best Driver on the Grid. Or so his fans say. This year will be his year. Another thing his fans say. Most Distinctive Eyebrows in F1. Second oldest driver on the grid. Will be unfaithful to F1 several times this season to chase an elusive motorsport victory. Sticks Kimoa decals on a lot of things. Generally a good sport about his questionable career choices. He once sat on a deck chair and turned social media batshit crazy.

Stoffel Vandoorne

Possibly has the patience of a saint. Give him a good car already! Handles Alonso like a champ. Silent waters run deep. Difficult to dislike. He may be Belgian, but he’s not a waffle fan.

Pierre Gasly

Circle game aficionado. Don’t look at his hands when he posts a photo or a video. Got denied a Super Formula title by a typhoon. Benedict Cumberbatch lookalike. Decent at bellydancing. Nicknamed his car Gasmobile. Already affectionately messing with his teammate.

Brendon Hartley

Look, a Kiwi! Super chill and laidback. Made a surprise “comeback” to F1. Again, a Kiwi: Don’t put the Aussie flag next to his name. Has an interesting hairstyle history (search his old pics on Twitter).

Lance Stroll

Grumpy Richie Rich? Didn’t pay much attention to what Felipe Massa taught him. Got one back on Jacques Villeneuve when he managed a podium in Baku last year. CBA with Twitter, stays mainly on Instagram. Couldn’t do a royal wave as well as Nico Rosberg.

Sergey Sirotkin

Not Robert Kubica. Also not a bad driver but will always have the bad rap of preventing the Kubica Comeback. Missed out on a Renault seat. Must overcome the label of Pay Driver.

Marcus Ericsson

“Why is he still here?” Not Pascal Wehrlein. Must perform well or risk being overshadowed by a rookie. His helmet design this year is retro decent, though.

Charles Leclerc

Hype! The rookie to watch out for. Self-confessed Harry Potter lookalike. Can he work magic in F1? Fave of the teenage girls and Mums alike. He’s not French, he’s Monégasque. Kimi Raikkonen and Ferrari fanboy. Chronic liker of tweets.

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So who among the 20 will emerge as the ultimate victor? Who will surprise and who will disappoint? Who will shatter their narratives and rewrite their stories? Only way to find out is to stay tuned (and online). Don’t get left in the dust!

100 Unusual/Hilarious/Random/Awesome Things That Happened To Me During An F1 Race Weekend

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​If you’re not new to this blog then perhaps you already know that the 5 F1 GPs I’ve attended weren’t necessarily smooth sailing and were almost always action-packed.

Since I like long lists, I would like to share with you some of my most memorable moments during an F1 weekend. Some I have written about, while the others are yet to be expounded.

In no particular order:

1. (Nearly) meeting Nico Hulkenberg while in a taxi queue outside a mall.
2. Having one shoe fall off while running towards the podium post-race. (Yes, my friends all say I should wear running shoes when I watch GPs from now on.)
3. Seeing a Rob Smedley doppelganger and wondering why more fellow fans are not seeing that eerie resemblance.
4. Standing next to a Yoann Gourcuff/Fernando Torres lookalike and not getting the chance to surreptitiously photograph him.
5. Nico Rosberg bending down to take a closer look at the bracelet I was wearing.
6. Getting stared down by Maurizio Arrivabene.
7. Befriending a fellow fan while waiting outside the paddock entrance for Sebastian Vettel and then realizing after we’ve said goodbye that we didn’t even get to exchange names.
8. Getting squished next to a British Juan Mata lookalike during a Red Bull Racing event.
9. Finally meeting Michael Schumacher in the flesh after 15 years of dreaming about it. (Read about it here: http://wp.me/p10DmM-zz )

Schumi! ❤

10. Crying tears of joy/exhaustion underneath the podium after witnessing my very 1st Ferrari double podium. 

Post-Podium Ceremonies selfie!

11. Getting photobombed by a bunch of rowdy Irish & Australian teenage boys.
12. Meeting fellow fans in the flesh after years of Twitter interaction!
13.  Receiving strange/confused looks from sales assistants whenever I asked, “Do you have an Alguersuari cap?”
14. Having a mini-argument with a sales assistant who didn’t think Kimi Raikkonen has what it takes to win that year’s F1 Night Race.
15. Convincing a staff member to unveil at least the nose of the Ferrari display car so me and my friend can take a photo with it.
16. Trackwalking post-race holding a ziploc bag, collecting tire marbles along the way.
17. Nick Heidfeld passing me by as he made his way back to the pits after an on-track shunt. 

Hallo, Nick!

18. Taking home a piece of the foam barrier that Sergio Perez hit on-track.
19. Being overwhelmed by seeing Michael Schumacher for the 1st time in person (sans his racing gear) during the Drivers’ Parade that I took a photo of a trash bin instead of him.
20. Standing next to a group of friends who jeered both Kimi Raikkonen and Michael Schumacher and doing my best not to punch them all.
21. Inadvertently yelling “Jaime Alguersuari!” so loudly during the Drivers’ Parade that he looked my way and waved.
22. Being so sleepy and exhausted that I started yelling “Sebastian Vettel! Where are you? Please come out!” towards the Paddock Entrance (It was already past 4am & I only had 1 hr of sleep that entire day, okay?!).
23. Praying earnestly not to get injured as I mounted multiple barriers and ran up several slopes just to make the podium ceremonies.
24. Finding out our house got completely flooded due to a major typhoon barely 24hrs before attending my very 1st F1 race.
25. Wearing a headband decorated with lots of tiny Lego mini-tires.
26. Buying expensive caps that I didn’t really need but I absolutely wanted. 

Ogling the overpriced merchandise that I still could not help but buy…

27. Sneaking surreptitious looks at the KangarooTV (remember them?) of my fellow fans.
28. Foregoing eating for nearly 12 hours because the queues are too long/I didn’t have much of an appetite/I’d rather go around the track.
29. Having a hulk of a guy, who was bald and wearing a sleeveless top, borrow my fan and then ask me, “How are you not sweating in this weather?! I am dying here!” (It’s true, I was cool as a cucumber in the heat and humidity while he was as red as a tomato and sweating like a whore in church.)
30. Speaking of fans, while waiting to cross in a pedestrian footbridge, another Western guy stood beside me and made almost-inappropriate sounds of pleasure when he caught some of the air I was producing with my fan.
31. Having a fellow fan snatch my Sharpie pen in excitement while waiting for Heikki Kovalainen to sign stuff because his own pen didn’t work. Heikki saw the look of annoyance on my face and signed my stuff first. Ha. The fan apologized to me after so it’s all good.
32. Having a fellow fan graciously lend me his pen when it was my turn to have my stuff signed by Max Verstappen, because I dropped my pen inside my blackhole of a bag before taking a photo of him.
33. Nico Hulkenberg telling me, “Good luck!” after he signed my notebook. I’m pretty sure I made a “Huh?” face but he just smiled and moved on.
34. Standing outside a pop-up store for nearly 2 hours just to see Nico Rosberg up close for the 1st time.
35. Sneakily placing my mobile phone in between a cameraman’s legs just to be able to take a photo of Jenson Button for a friend.
36. Considered gatecrashing an F1-related event but changing my mind at the last minute to go shopping instead.
37. Getting lost on my way out of the track because I was too busy posting my Vettel autograph on Instagram.

I waited nearly 5 hours for this!

38. Bumping into an elderly track personnel while trying to find the track exit at past 4 am & getting told, “You’re still here, Miss?! Go home & get some sleep, lah!”
39. Having to explain to a semi-flirting taxi driver what makes F1 such a great sport at past 4 in the morning. Completely sober.
40. Having a whole conversation with our taxi driver about the 2008 F1 Night Race on our way to the airport while my friends rolled their eyes at the back.
41. Being too lazy to chase after Felipe Massa and then asking a fellow fan “Was he with Rob Smedley?” after.
42. Going to a McLaren-related exhibit inside a mall just to check out the Kimi Raikkonen bits. 

Spot the misspelled word there…

43. My friends freaking out on my behalf when they saw a huge Michael Schumacher billboard outside the Petronas Towers. “You have to take a photo with that!” I’ve trained my friends well.

Where Schumi goes, I go…

44. Nearly not being on time for a Qualifying Session due to a delay at the border, so I had to tell the taxi driver, “Please channel your inner F1 driver, I cannot be late!” We got to the track on time.
45. Dishing out the “You’re kidding me, right?” face everytime a sales assistant asks, “Are you getting this for your boyfriend?” when I’m browsing F1 merchandise.
46. Being given tons of free Singapore GP goodies by a staff member of the Singapore’s Visitor Centre when she found out it was my first GP ever.
47. Being too starstruck/awestruck to even properly take a photo of Kimi Raikkonen as he whizzed past us fans in his golf cart.
48. Starting conversations with fellow fans with, “So, who do you support?”
49. From crying my eyes out of sadness the night before to experiencing internal bliss the next day during my very first GP.
50. Getting invited by a fellow fan to “watch Fernando Alonso sunbathe in his hotel”. Yeah, I gave that a pass.
51. Being given free bottled water by generous track marshals.
52. Getting the stink-eye from Hamilton fans when my friend and I let out a whoop when he retired.
53. Having a fellow fan start a convo with me by opening with, “You’re a Kimi fan, right? You look like a Kimi fan” even though I wasn’t wearing anything Kimi-related. He’s a Kobayashi fan, by the way.
54. Getting the “You came all the way from the Philippines?!” response from fellow fans when I tell them where I’m from. Seriously guys, it’s not that far from Singapore.
55. Using all my charms to convince a bus conductor not to leave me and my friends in Johor Bahru (I had to attend a Qualifying Session in Sg that night) by distracting him and appealing to his Ferrari-supporting side.
56. Seeing someone I know through Twitter in person but getting too shy to approach them and say hello.
57. Receiving a dazzling smile from Sebastian Vettel after I wished him “Good luck!”
58. Yelling “Hello, Kimi!” everytime Kimi enters the pits mere meters away from me.
59. Nearly falling asleep while taking a shower after getting back to home base at nearly 5 am.
60. A fellow fan asking me, “Who is he? He’s a driver, right?” when Felipe Nasr exited the Paddock area and started signing for the fans.
61. Being all superstitious and wearing at least 1 red item per day for Ferrari’s sake (hey it worked for the 2015 F1 Night Race!).
62. Watching a Free Practice Session from a height of 165 meters for free, thanks to the Singapore Flyer.

The Singapore Flyer

63. Getting amused laughs from security personnel at the Gates during bag check whenever they see how huge my bag is and how it’s usually filled with shopping bags.
64. Falling in love with a promo umbrella emblazoned with the faces of past F1 Champions. 

I want that umbrella!!

65. Sending a text blast to selected friends (and most probably waking them up) at like 2 in the morning saying I’ve met Michael Schumacher. In all caps. I regret nothing.
66. My Spanish basically getting reduced to “por favor” and “gracias” when I met the Spanish-speaking drivers.
67. Seeing 1997 World Champion Jacques Villeneuve blanked by fans.
68. Seeing Grumpy Fernando Alonso refuse to sign/take pics for fans and telling them a resounding, “NO!”
69. Seeing Kimi Raikkonen’s trainer Mark Arnall get a warm reception from fans, even getting autograph/selfie requests!
70. Randomly getting stopped by a fellow fan to ask why there was a Safety Car on track at that moment (Due to the Hulk-Massa shunt, F1 Night Race 2015).
71. Receiving a text from a friend that went something like, “Hey I’ve just heard that someone invaded the track mid-race. That’s not you, right?!” And yes, it was NOT me. (F1 Night Race 2015)
72. Running through nearly 1/3 of the track (back & forth at that) just to be able to make the podium ceremonies.
73. Watching Maroon 5’s concert post-Qualifying Session behind a couple who made out for 80% of the duration. Ick.
74. Randomly getting complimented by a fellow fan on the lipstick I was wearing during raceday (MAC Ruby Woo).
75. Immediately storing the Sharpie pen that was touched and handled by 3 World Champions (Schumacher, Vettel & Alonso) inside a ziploc bag and never touching it with bare hands again.
76. Resisting the urge to pee for 4 hours for fear of missing any on-track action.
77. Being told “You know a lot about F1 for a woman” by a taxi driver. (SIGH.)
78. Riding on the same elevator with fellow F1 fans who could not disguise their friskiness and looked just about to get it on.
79. Forgetting to remove my earplugs post-race which resulted to me talking really loudly to my friend and a few fellow fans for nearly half an hour.
80. Forgetting to bring my earplugs during raceday, buying a pair on-track but not using them anyway (this is during the V6 era already; and don’t follow my example, kids!).
81. Having a GP weekend survival kit that consists of: Paracetamol, band-aids, Tiger Balm and Salonpas strips.
82. Surreptitiously doing yoga-like stretches in between sessions (sometimes in the middle of a race) to prevent my legs from cramping and to relieve my poor back.
83. Unabashedly brandishing my foldable binoculars to get a better look at the cars (and to people-watch better).
84. Getting sad at seeing the discounted Kimi Raikkonen caps during his F1 sabbatical (circa 2010), but knowing in my heart he’ll return to F1 once again. I kinda wish I bought a couple of those now! 

I guess they thought Kimi wouldn’t be coming back…

85. Having this weird fascination with kerbs and touching/stroking at least one of them post-race.
86. Having the same fascination with tire marks on the walls and touching/stroking at least one of them post-race.
87. Nearly (deliberately) stepping on the foot of a motormouth fan behind me when he very loudly proclaimed that they should just skip interviewing Kimi Raikkonen because he is so dull (among other things) during the 2015 F1 Night Podium Ceremonies.
88. Shivering (in a good way) every time I hear the sound of an F1 car accelerating.
89. Overhearing a fellow fan tell his girlfriend, “Get Fernando to sign this, will you?” Girlfriend: “Why me?” Guy: “You’re a girl, he’ll pay more attention to you!”
90. Marvelling at how…vertically-challenged most drivers are.
91. Realizing though that most, if not all of them are much better-looking in person.
92. Overtaking slow-walking fans with F1 engine sounds playing inside my head.
93. Learning that when in doubt, go ask a track marshal/policeman directly.
94. Drinking more water in 3 days than I do in a whole month.
95. Regretting not being able to make and bring a witty banner.
96. Discovering a good spot for the Drivers’ Parade where they’re close enough to hear you when you yell their names.
97. Foregoing watching the musical acts in favor of waiting for the drivers & personnel.
98. Finding out that (most) F1 fans are really very nice and good fun.
99. Bending down the start-finish line and leaving a red kiss mark on it post-race.

Leaving my (kiss)mark on the track!

100. That strange mixture of happiness and sadness that envelops me as I leave the track post-race which leads to an iron resolve of, “I WILL BE BACK, NO MATTER WHAT!”

.

I’m sure I have missed many more anecdotes, but anyway, perhaps they’ll make it to a part 2 of this post.

Meanwhile, I’m already planning my next GP weekend because I cannot wait to see what other adventures/misadventures await me.

(What are your own unforgettable F1 GP mini-anecdotes? Tell me in the comments section!)