Haiku no. 20: Let’s Not Call It An Anticlimax.

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Opening weekend:
Top teams stutter, minnows pounced.
Keep calm. It’s Game On!

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You Can’t Win The Title In August: My English Premier League 2011-2012 Season Predictions Poem.

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The Lion has returned and it’s ready to Roar.

It’s that time of the year
That I hold so very dear
It’s the Return of the English Premier League.
I’m too lazy to write an essay
So I am choosing to relay
My predictions in the form of a poem.

This I say without a trace of glee
But the champs will still be MUFC
How it’ll hurt to see them win number 20.
Their runners-up will be Chelsea
Lately have been quiet but still deadly
Especially with AVB as the new gaffer.

My Liverpool will take the 3rd spot
And be led by King Kenny, the great Scot
To a triumphant return to Europe.
4th is a bit tough to figure out
Man City may give Arsenal a big clout
Knock them off the Big 4 perch they’ve been hogging.

As for the much-coveted fifth
Tottenham Hotspurs will be swift
And continue their progress under ‘Arry.
The Golden Boot’s also tricky
So many strikers who are quality
But I’ve a feeling young Chicharito will nick it.

Now on to the Relegation Fight,
The test of each club’s collective might
And the desire to slug it out with the Big Fish.
The unlucky clubs which I predict
To have a sad end-of-season verdict
Are QPR, Norwich and Swansea (Sorry, lads!).

Now, these are my thoughts only
Struggling to be expressed ably
Then again, in football, does sense really matter?
So let’s see by the mid-of-May
If I shall wince or laugh away
At how the ball bounced on this crazy old game.

There’s Something in the Northern England Water…

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I was able to watch two Premier League matches this weekend, with 3 of the 4 clubs involved hailing from the North of England.

Manchester United 3-3 Everton


I shamelessly watched this for 3 reasons: 1. To see if Wayne Rooney would play and take the stick from his fellow Evertonians, following yet another cheating scandal involving a…woman of the night; 2. To see if Michael Owen would play, and 3. To see whether the Mancs would demolish the Toffees so I can laugh at them afterward.

Unfortunately, none of those were granted to me by the football gods, for some reason or another. Wayne Rooney was spared the blushes by Sir Alex Ferguson and did not travel with the team, Michael Owen was left a spectator in the bench, and most important, Everton managed a decent comeback to steal 2 points away from Manchester United in the dying minutes of the match.

Man United were 3-1 up, with less than 10 minutes in the clock, and frankly, they were cruising. Back-to-back goals from Tim Cahill and Mikel Arteta promptly spoiled their party and left them 4 points adrift from table-toppers Chelsea.

Will the Mancs rue those 2 unnecessary dropped points come May?

Liverpool 0-0 Birmingham City


Having had prior knowledge of the Man United slip-up, surely Liverpool would use this to their advantage and get back to winning ways against Birmingham City?

No chance. While I know that Brum has been one of Liverpool’s bogey teams of recent, on paper, the Merseysiders still have a huge advantage on talent and depth. Unfortunately, neither managed to shine through as the match ended in a dour goalless draw. On the positive side, Pepe Reina did manage to redeem himself from his Arsenal match blunder by producing a fine save to keep the match level.

These curious turns of events will come to a head as Liverpool and Manchester United face-off in Old Trafford next week. Tensions will be at an all-time high and both teams will want nothing less than 3 points and bragging rights. Buckle up, people, this might get ugly.

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