Battle of the F1 Boybands: F1 Direction vs. The Stewards’ Wanted.

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Admit it, we’ve all been a victim of LSS (Last Song Syndrome) courtesy of one those pesky boyband songs at one point in our lives (or many points. Wait, is that just me? Moving on).

Whether you’re a fan of them or not, looks like the boyband craze is here to stay, and it has now invaded Formula One! Allow me to introduce you to the hottest rivalry in F1 right now:

They’re boyish and clean-cut, and they drive the girls crazy wondering what their brand of shampoo and conditioner are. Some say they make sure to floss regularly to maintain their pearly-white smiles. They’re sugar and spice and everything nice (until 1 of them swears on the podium…oops). They’re…F1 Direction!

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Bruno SEnna, Nico Hulkenberg, Sebastian Vettel, Nico Rosberg and Sergio Perez: Too pretty for their helmets?

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On this corner, on and off the track, they’re naughty as can be, they tweet all sorts of stuff, including telemetry. Some say they believe in the saying, “Banging is racing”.  Stay away from these Hard As Mutharacers…They’re…The Stewards’ Wanted!

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Kamui Kobayashi, Pastor Maldonado, Lewis Hamilton, Romain Grosjean and Jean-Eric Vergne: Five badboys with the power to rock you! Blowing your mind so you gotta get into…!

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Hang on, so how can we settle the question on which is the better F1 Boyband? By a Sing-Off, of course! Below are the 2 boybands’ anthems. Go on, then, I know you want to sing along!

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F1 Direction Presents…

What Makes You Beautiful

(A Song For Our Cars)

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You’re insecure

Don’t know what for

You’re turning heads when you exit pit doors

Don’t need decals

To cover up

Being the way that you are

Is enough

Everyone else on the grid could see it

Everyone else but you…

Chorus

Baby you warm up my tyres like nobody else

The way that you shift your gears gets me overwhelmed

But when you activate KERS it ain’t hard to tell

You don’t kno-oo-oow

You don’t know you’re beautiful

If only you saw what I can see

You’ll understand why I want your seat desperately

Right now I’m racing in you

And I can’t believe

You don’t kno-oo-oow

You don’t know you’re beautiful

That’s what makes you beautiful!

So c–come on

You got it wrong

To prove I’m right

I put it in a song

I don’t know why you’re being shy

And turn away when the wet racetrack turns dry-yy

Everyone else on the grid could see it

Everyone else but you…

Baby you warm up my tyres like nobody else

The way that you shift your gears gets me overwhelmed

But when you activate KERS it ain’t hard to tell

You don’t kno-oo-oow

You don’t know you’re beautiful

If only you saw what I can see

You’ll understand why I want your seat desperately

Right now I’m racing in you

And I can’t believe

You don’t kno-oo-oow

You don’t know you’re beautiful

That’s what makes you beautiful!

Nanananananana nanananana…

Baby you warm up my tyres like nobody else

The way that you shift your gears gets me overwhelmed

But when you activate KERS it ain’t hard to tell

You don’t kno-oo-oow

You don’t know you’re beautiful

Baby you warm up my tyres like nobody else

The way that you shift your gears gets me overwhelmed

But when you activate KERS it ain’t hard to tell

You don’t kno-oo-oow

You don’t know you’re beautiful

If only you saw what I can see

You’ll understand why I want your seat desperately

Right now I’m racing in you

And I can’t believe

You don’t kno-oo-oow

You don’t know you’re beautiful

You don’t know you’re beautiful

That’s what makes you beautiful!

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The Stewards’ Wanted strike back with…

Glad You Raced

(A Song For Our Rivals)

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The sun goes down

The lights go out

And all that counts is here and now

My race record will never be the same

I’m glad you raced…

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You want to race with me

Race with me

You hit me like the sky fell on me

Fell on me

And I don’t care about penalties

Penalties

So let’s go somewhere the stewards can’t see

You and me

Turn the lights out now

Now I’ll take you by that turn

Hands firmly on the wheel

Pass me if you can

Can you spend a little time

Time is slipping away

Away from us

So race

Race with me

I can make

Mae you glad you raced

 

The sun goes down

The lights go out

And all that counts is here and now

My race record will never be the same

I’m glad you raced

I’m glad you raced

You want to race with me

Race with me

You hit me like the sky fell on me

Fell on me

And I don’t care about penalties

Penalties

So let’s go somewhere the stewards can’t see

You and me

Turn the lights out now

Now I’ll take you by that turn

Hands firmly on the wheel

Pass me if you can

Can you spend a little time

Time is slipping away

Away from us

So race

Race with me

I can make

Make you glad you raced

The sun goes down

The lights go out

And all that counts is here and now

My race record will never be the same

I’m glad you raced

Oooooohhhhh

I’m glad you raced

Oooooohhhhh

So glad you raced

I’m glad you raced

I’m glad you raced…

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The sun goes down

The lights go out

And all that counts is here and now

My race record will never be the same

I’m glad you raced

I’m glad you raced…

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Have you picked a side yet*?

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*This is what the off-season does to me.

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