Football Rap-Off: Jose Mourinho vs Pep Guardiola.

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Another Clasico has come and gone, and the controversy and animosity between Spain’s biggest clubs remains on a high. Apparently, even the managers got in on some off-pitch action and had a rap-off to the tune of Kelis’ Milkshake:

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Jose Mourinho of Real Madrid started off the throw down:
Mi equipo brings all the girls to the yard
And they’re like, ‘We’re hotter than yours!’
Damn right, I’m their entrenador!
I could teach you, but I have to charge…

Mi equipo brings all the fans to the yard
And they’re like, ‘Vamos, Galacticos!’
Damn right, I’m their entrenador!
I could teach you, but I have to charge…

I know you want it,
The thing that makes me
What the world goes crazy for
They lose their minds
I’m the Special kind
I think it’s time
La la la la la
Turn it up
La la la la la
The world is watching
La la la la la
Turn it up
La la la la la
Special One is rapping

Mi equipo brings all the girls to the yard
And they’re like, ‘We’re hotter than yours!’
Damn right, I’m their entrenador!
I could teach you, but I have to charge…

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Pep Guardiola of FC Barcelona shot back:
Mi equipo brings all the cups to the yard
And they’re like, ‘Y’all suck at Clasicos!’
Damn right, we’re The Fantasticos
I could teach you, but I have to charge…

Mi equipo brings all the cups to the yard
And they’re like, ‘We play better than yours!’
Damn right, we’re equipo mejor!
I could teach you, but I have to charge…

I have to see you on it,
You want me to teach the…techniques that win us points
It can’t be bought, we dive, don’t get caught
Watch if you’re smart
La la la la la
Ham it up
La la la la la
The refs are watching
La la la la la
Act it up
La la la la la
The refs are watching…

Mi equipo brings all the cups to the yard
And they’re like, ‘Y’all suck at Clasicos!’
Damn right, we’re The Fantasticos
I could teach you, but I have to charge…

(And we all know who “won” for this round.)

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Daamn. Who says these two aren’t hollaback boys?! Way to keep it OG, hombres.

Team Finland in F1 Presents: Suomi Boys.

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To celebrate the (hopefully-triumphant) return of 2007 World Champion Kimi Raikkonen in Formula One Racing, as well as his reunion with fellow Finn Heikki Kovalainen, here’s the unofficial anthem of the Finnish Racers for the 2012 F1season, to the tune of Katy Perry’s California Gurls:

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SUOMI BOYS

I know a place
Where the snow is really whiter
Cold, windy wild
There must be something in the water
Sippin’ G.H. Mumm
Layin’ underneath the pine trees
The girls, break their necks
Tryin’ to creep a little sneak peek (at us)

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You could travel the world
But nothing comes close to the Finnish coast
Once you party with us
You’ll be falling in love (oh, ohh, ohhh)

Su-o-omi Boys
We’re unforgettable!
When we race, we finish on top!
Golden hair, blue eyes
We’ll freeze your popsicles!

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Su-o-omi Boys
We’re undeniable
Fine, fresh, fierce
We got it on lock
Finland, represent
Now put your hands up!

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Speed’s what we preach
We don’t like talking on Team Radio
We chill in the pits
F1 Live Timing on the stereo

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You could travel the world
But nothing comes close to the Finnish coast
Once you party with us
You’ll be falling in love (oh, ohh, ohhh)

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Su-o-omi Boys
We’re unforgettable!
When we race, we finish on top!
Golden hair, blue eyes
We’ll freeze your popsicles!

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Su-o-omi Boys
We’re undeniable
Fine, fresh, fierce
We got it on lock!
Finland, represent
Now put your hands up!

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(Rapping part, to be done by a fangirl/fanboy, obviously. Go ahead and sing this, I know you want to.)

Toned, pale, fit and ready
Turn it up cos it’s getting heavy
Wild, cold Finnish coast
These are the boys we love the most
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I mean the ones, I mean like they’re the men
Cheer them, stalk them, make them run
The fans all freak, every week
They wow with their techniques
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I’m okay, I wanna play, I dig their way
Cos they drive risqué
Spa or Nurburgring
Raceday is everyday
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Mad fans hanging out
Fast laps they’re churning out
They’re Kimis, they’re Mikas, they’re Heikkis
Just like magic racing genies

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Yo whatsup Kimi?
Looky here, Heikki
We’re all up on ya
Cos you’re representin’ Finland…
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 Su-o-omi Boys
We’re unforgettable!
When we race, we finish on top!
Golden hair, blue eyes
We’ll freeze your popsicles!

Su-o-omi Boys
We’re undeniable
Fine, fresh, fierce
We got it on lock
Finland, represent
Now put your hands up!

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Who says these cold-blooded racers doesn't know how to let loose?

Photo Of The Day: A Piece Of The Golden Pie.

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Image via Mundo Deportivo.

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So Xavi Hernandez, the chief midfield genius of the reigning Spanish La Liga and UEFA Champions’ League Winners FC Barcelona, falls short (pardon the pun) yet again in the vote for the FIFA World Player Of The Year. Que horror.

The winner, Lionel Messi, is not just an extremely talented footballer, but generous as well. Which other footballer would so graciously offer to share the much-coveted Ballon D’Or with his teammate?

Cheer up, Xavi. Actually, I’m not even sure if the hombre is sad about losing or it’s just his default “longface”. Any which way, at least he’s  in good company–Raul, Paolo Maldini and Thierry Henry are just some of the notable players who’ve never won the Ballon D’Or.

Where’s Kanye West when we need him?

Photos Of The Day: Looking At The Future In The Present.

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* Taken after the Philippine National Football Team (a.k.a Azkals)-UFL Alyansa vs CF Internacional de Madrid Charity Match for the Typhoon Sendong victims yesterday, January 07, 2012.

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Meet Rufino Familiar Sanchez, or Rufo, as his preferred playing name goes. He is the rising star of the Tercera Division team CF Internacional de Madrid.  The short of the long is that I asked him to sign my Liverpool FC scarf as a souvenir of his visit to Manila, because I have a strong feeling that in the next couple of years, he’ll be a breakout star in International Football.

The next no. 9 for La Roja? That’s right, I called it here first.