Six-Nil Is In Fashion: The English Premier League Week2 Wrap-Up

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SATURDAY

Arsenal 6-0 Blackpool
The fairytale is over for the newly-promoted club. Theo Walcott scored a hattrick and propels the Gunners’ title bid back on track.

Tottenham 2-1 Stoke
Tightly-contested match. Gareth Bale’s angled shot is the Recipient for Silk (=Skill) of the Week. Oh, and for the record, Stoke’s 91st minute attempt at goal was completely over the line. Should have been given by the ref and should have ended in a draw.

Bolton 3-1 West Ham United
A day of wasted chances for the Hammers. Cole missed a penalty, Dyer scrapped Scott Parker’s Pass of the Match, and their defenders carelessly watched Bolton score the goals. Parker won them a Penalty which Noble converted, but by then it was far too late to salvage anything.

West Bromwich Albion 1-0 Sunderland
Will be a famous victory for the Baggies, since they consider the Mackems a “local” rival. That is all.

Birmingham 2-1 Blackburn
Lively match. Both goalkeepers, Ben Foster and Paul Robinson were well-prepared but in the end, Foster pipped Robinson as he saved a penalty from Gamst Pedersen. I really thought Blackburn was going to snatch the win until the Brummies mounted a solid comeback.

Chelsea 6-0 Wigan
Seems the defending Premier League Champions are keen to set the benchmark for starting their Championship defense campaign with a bang. Their Goal Difference is now +12, something that the rest of the Big Four will be extremely jealous of (whether they’ll admit it or not). However, let us spare a thought for the poor Latics, only 2 matches in and their GD is already -10. Will Roberto Martinez be the next PL Manager to get the sack? Watch this space.

SUNDAY

Newcastle United 6-0 Aston Villa
On paper, Newcastle United’s squad is extremely undernourished compared to Aston Villa. Then again, this is the Premier League and stats become useless to make way for giant-killings. Oh, and what a slaughter it was! Andy Carroll scored a hattrick and most important, fellow goalscorer Joey Barton promised to shave off his horrid pornstache if Toon gets their first win of the season. Truly win-win for everyone.

Barton keeps his promise of getting rid of his moustache after the Toon's 1st win

Manchester United 2-2 Fulham
You’d think after their 3-0 drubbing of Newcastle last weekend, Manchester United will follow up with an emphatic performance against Fulham. Then again, Fulham  was United’s bogey team last season. winning both their Home and Away matches against them. United started the game brightly, with both Berbatov and Hernandez having chances, until the ever-reliable Paul Scholes broke the deadlock by drilling in a low shot. Fulham then went all out and equalised through Davies. United’s best goalscorer, also known as Own Goal (this time it was Hangeland), took them in front yet again, and Ferguson decided to bring in the big guns Giggs, Nani and Owen (squee) to reinforce their attacking options. Tension arose in the cottage as Damien Duff was misjudged to have handled the ball, and United was given a Penalty Kick. Surprisingly, Nani stepped forward to take it but his shot was easily saved. Fate then stepped in cruelly as Hangeland exacted his revenge and scored the emphatic equalizer. United scrambled to find the back of the net but to no avail and in the end, they were left ruing their wasted chances and are now 2 points adrift of the table-toppers. Seems Chicharito needs to pray a lot harder for the next matches.

For those who missed the action:

1st Half Highlights

2nd Half Highlights

MONDAY

Manchester City 3-0 Liverpool
Right. I can’t be objective over this. I’m disappointed with the performance and disappointed with the result. However, there’s absolutely no need to press the panic button just yet. It’s still early days and after all, Liverpool are known to be slow-starters in the EPL.

Yeah, don't give me that shrug, Nando. You should have done better. Okay, sorry, you're forgiven, come here and I'll give you a hug.

(P.S. Can M.O. please trounce Man City this season again? NGL, his last-minute winner last season still makes me smile)

Anyway, for those who missed the action:

Match Highlights

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