The 2010-2011 English Premier League 101, Twitter-Style*

Standard

*Club Descriptions in 140 characters or less

Arsenal FC


“Big 4” Member. Mini-France. Prone to surprise draws. Ruthless when in clinical mood. Arsene Wenger is Manager. Cesc Fabregas is Captain.

 

Aston Villa FC


Clarets and Blue. Rivals with Birmingham, Has potential but tends to plateau. Martin O’ Neill is Manager. No discernible superstar.

 

Birmingham City FC

Bitter rivals with Villa. St. Andrew’s is their home. Alex McLeish is Manager. Otherwise known as the Blues.

 

Blackburn Rovers FC


Football & Premier league Founders. Former Division 1 hotshots. Firmly midtable of recent. Fat Sam Allardyce is Manager.

 

Blackpool FC

EPL Newbies. Manager Ian Holloway is King to fans. Lack of funds & dismal stadium makes them candidates for a swift return to lower league.

 

Bolton Wanderers FC


Physical, at times Bland Football. Northern brawn. The Trotters. At times barely surviving. Owen Coyle is Manager. Kevis Davies is Captain.

 

Chelsea FC

Big 4 Member. Defending Champions. Big spenders since Abramovich. Carlo Ancelotti is Manager. Frank Lampard & John Terry = poster boys.

 

Everton FC

1 of Oldest Clubs. Bitter rivals with Liverpool. Casual giant-killers. David Moyes is Manager. Look out for Mikel Arteta & Tim Cahill.

 

Fulham FC

Low-profile London Club. Hard to dislike. No “real” club rival. Mark Hughes is new Manager. Danny Murphy and Damien Duff lead the pack.

 

Liverpool FC

The Reds. 18x Champion. No PL trophy yet. R.Hodgson is new Boss. S.Gerrard, F.Torres & J.Carragher rules. Anfield. You’ll Never Walk Alone.

 

Manchester City FC


Sky Blues. EPL Noveau Riche. Player Surplus is hurting them. Manager: Roberto Mancini. Key Players: C.Tevez, S.Given, G. Barry, C. Bellamy.

 

Manchester United FC

The Red Devils. Big 4 Member. 11x EPL Champions. Sir A. Ferguson is Architect. R.Giggs, P.Scholes, R.Ferdinand, W.Rooney lead the pack.

 

Newcastle United FC


B&W Toon Army. Rules Northeast Football. Rivals with Sunderland. Current Championship winners. Will be determined to stay up in the PL.

 

Stoke City FC

Oldest Club in the PL. Promoted in 2008. Stealthy but efficient. Tony Pulis is Manager.

 

Sunderland Athletic FC

 

The Mackems. Bitter rivals of Toon. Steve Bruce is Manager. Darren Bent is their goalmachine.

 

Tottenham Hotspur FC

Spurs. White Hart Lane. North London rivals with Arsenal. Resurgent form of recent. ‘Arry Redknapp led the revival.

 

West Bromwich Albion


Nickname: The Baggies. Rivals with Villa & Wolves. Home: The Hawthorns. Manager: Roberto Di Matteo. Captain: Scott Carson.

 

West Ham United

The Hammers. Upton Park. Barely survived Relegation. Forever Blowing Bubbles. Scott Parker is Vice Captain & Prized Asset.

 

Wigan Athletic

Promoted in 2005. Youngest Club in PL. Nickname: The Latics. Home: JJB Stadium. Manager: Roberto Martinez.

 

Wolverhampton Wanderers FC

Surprisingly stayed up. Orange & Black combo. Prone to being routed by the bigger clubs. Still, gritty & resilient.

 

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Right. Enough with brevity. Here are my predictions for the 2010-2011 Season:

Premier League Champions: Will be tightly contested between defending Champions Chelsea and Manchester United (Liverpool is in the process of rebuilding so I’m not getting my hopes too high).

Where Liverpool FC will finish: Best will be 2nd, worst will be 4th *fingers and toes crossed*

Premier League Top Scorer: Didier Drogba of Chelsea (I would have picked Fernando Torres but he’s still not 100% fit from injury)

Which Clubs will secure Champions League Football: Arsenal, Chelsea, Liverpool & Manchester United

Which Clubs will secure Europa League Football: Tottenham Hotspurs, Manchester City, Aston Villa

Which Clubs will be Relegated to the Championship: Blackpool, West Bromwich Albion, Stoke City

I have never had a perfect score in terms of predictions in all my years of watching the Premier League, though. The one things that’s for certain is that this league will always be full of surprises, giant-killings and amazing comebacks. And that is why the tagline for the PL is Nothing Compares to It!

 

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